Hot On The Titties Friday: Breastfeeding Edition
by Cookie
findingalisa.blogspot.com
I thought a little longer than usual about writing this post, because sometimes women are crazy. When a woman firmly believes in something, you’d better get the hell out of her way or at least to pretend to agree. We are even more insane when it comes to our beliefs and/or opinions when it comes to raising our children.
But it is Hot on the Titties Friday, and this post is about tits. So I figured what the hell.
Ok. So you know how it’s ok to celebrate black history month, or have rallies for Aboriginal rights, but if you turned around and declared April 26 “White People Day” you would be strung up for being a racist? Not because you don’t think that other ethnicities deserve the same rights and freedoms and everything that you deserve, but because you feel that being a white person is worth celebrating too?
I kinda feel that way about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. Like if I am pro-formula, I’m a racist or something.
I know. You’re probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. But it’s like this thing, this entity. We have all these women forming groups and clubs and lactation consultants and holy fuck. Leave. My. Tits. Alone.
We have become a breastfeeding advocacy army in this generation. And it’s starting to get on my tits. Pun intended.
Now. Before I rant, I want to say this for the record. I am NOT against breastfeeding. I love women who happily breastfeed and love it. I love that the babies are healthy and chubby and content. I love that women are given a choice to do what they feel is best for them and their child. And a little part of me is jealous. Because that is purely Mommy and baby time outside the womb. It affords you the opportunity to keep your little one to yourself in a way once they are born. It is a beautiful thing.
What I hate is all these pushy, know it all bitches who look down their nose at you when you are formula feeding your baby. What I hate is women suddenly become experts on children’s health because they had a baby and now need to tell me all the reasons their child will thrive more than mine will. Women who push and push and push their opinion on me. The guilt inducing bitch conversations that make me want to make a tshirt that says “fuck you La Leche” despite all the good work they do.
So. We all know the benefits of breastfeeding. There are many. But you know what? There are many benefits to formula feeding as well. And here are some of them, at least from MY experience:
1. I am not the only parent getting up every night all night. Daddy is on board. We are all a little saner.
2. I can leave my child for more than an hour or two if I need some human time. Taking better care of me results in me taking better care of my baby.
3. I know exactly how much food my baby is getting. I can tell right away if she is not getting enough and address my concerns with her doctor immediately.
4. Baby slept through the night much sooner than most breastfed babies I know. File this under sanity too.
5. Watching the bond between my daughter and my husband be formed earlier was magic.
6. Latching problems? Buy a different brand of nipple.
My doctor endorsed my choice. She said that the most important benefit from breastfeeding was the colostrum and antibodies in the first few days of birth. Which my daughter got. She also went on to say that formula is so close nutritionally to breastmilk that I didn’t have to worry. She also told me not to allow anyone push their opinions on me or to feel bad about my decision.
I will try again to breastfeed with Little Buddy. I am actually kind of excited too. But I’m not going to make myself insane over it, and I am not going to feel like a failure if it doesn’t work again or if my milk doesn’t come in. And I am not going to listen to some fucking cow tell me that my baby’s IQ will be less than her baby’s based on my decision whether to go to formula or not.
Cause guess what? Fuck you, that’s what. I’m not going to judge you for your parenting choices unless you try to impose them on me.
Wish my titties luck, but don’t panic. I always have a back up plan.
ihaveanopinionidliketoshare 
Well said, Dom. There are a lot of those look down their nose at you women out there, and it bugs the shit out of me too. Good on ya for giving it another go with the little guy, and whatever happens, happens.
Colleen
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Whatever you have to do to convince yourself that you don’t suck as a parent, good for you.
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I’m not sure I read your usual wit correctly today, my American friend.
Are you saying that I do, in fact suck as a parent for not breastfeeding?
In that case….fuck you too, lol.
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You’re very perceptive in that my comment was indeed meant to lack the usual wit and rub you the wrong way. My main beef with your post is that you used an image of boobs instead of posting a picture of your own big ass jugs. Lol! Plus, I think I may still be drunk from softball last night.
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I didn’t realize our blogship had reached nudy-photo level.
I will try to do better in the future. In the meantime, go grab a coffee and sexually harass a co-worker or something.
😉
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How strange…I was TOTALLY thinking up a sexual harassment blog post as I read this!
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My worst experience was with the special care nursery nurses. I chose not to breastfeed because the infusion drugs that I NEED to have in order to stay in remission have barely had any studdies done on them in regards to the long term side effects on breastfed babies. The nurses questioned and pushed several times in regards to MY choice NOT to breastfeed. So there I was, 2 hrs from home(we were transferred), no family and racked with twin hormones and my babies are preemies and in a special nursery, having people who knew NOTHING about the meds I was on and didn’t care why I chose not to breastfeed, they had their own agenda. Guess what, my boys are 2.5 and are both healthy and happy and super smart…one can even tell you about the how the moon goes around earth, earth goes around the sun, the sun is hot and saturn wears bracelets,lol. Guess formula feeding didn’t turn them into vegetables afterall!
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I’ve never really understood how intelligence could be correlated to breastfeeding anyway. Besides, someone could have a genius IQ, but if it’s never nurtured I’m sure it would likely not make a difference.
Whatever your reasons for not breastfeeding are, they are valid and unique to your circumstance. Sometimes the experts need to talk less and listen more, right?
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I agree. I wanted so badly to exclusively breastfeed, but couldn’t. We had to supplement with formula from day one…and I felt guilty about it, and know I received many snide looks and comments as if I was feeding my son poison. Every baby and family is different…you want to breastfeed until the kid is 4 awesome, if you want to only use formula thats cool too…can’t we all just play nice 🙂
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Right on point again! I tried breastfeeding very briefly. To hell with that, not for me!
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TANGENT ALERT:
White People Day is not a thing, because there’s no such thing as White Culture, or White History. People love St. Patrick’s Day, though.
The Italians weren’t considered white until the 1930s. Same with the Polish. The Irish were white, but an inferior brand of White. Like Sanyo.
So if you want to celebrate your Ukrainian heritage, go to it. French? Scottish? Hungarian? Have a blast. But if you’re just so proud to be white? You’re getting the sidest of side-eye from me.
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I’m Irish-Italian. Where does that put me on the white scale?
As far as I know it means I like to drink a lot, and that’s good enough reason to celebrate. Maybe that’s the real reason I didn’t breastfeed……….
PS Ken. I love black people. Especially you. 😉
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Now, you’re whiter than Clay Aiken. But a century ago? There were restaurants in the US that wouldn’t serve you.
And black people love you too. 😀
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I wanted to breastfeed exclusively, but we had an incompatibility problem right from day 1 – baby didn’t latch right/long enough, and I have large breasts with tendonitis in one arm that didn’t allow for me to be in a position pain-free long enough for her to eat or latch on properly. I asked for help at the hospital on the 1st day – and no one came by until the end of the 2nd. They gave me a breast pump to use – but made me store in in the common area of the shared room where my roommates guests were constantly walking by – and she was asked if she’d like a TB test for her and her baby. I tried – neither me or my baby got sleep or enough to eat for a week and she lost too much weight. and I’m stubborn. So I have to thank my wonderful husband to saying that he wasn’t going back to work until our kid was eating, and that maybe we should try it another way.
It saved me from too much PPD – we immediately settled into an easy routine, where we all slept for at least 2 hour stretches for the first week, and she ate and gained weight. And I had a glass of wine while my wise husband fed our baby. The stress of getting it right while not starving our child was too much for me, a brand new mom. So formula it was.
And yes, I get so tired of people looking down their noses at formula-feeding. you don’t know the whole story or situation. I’m a better mother for having made that choice because it saved my sanity when I was close to a breaking point. but somehow, I still feel guilty.
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Ha ha always a topic to get women going. I fed my four and had an easy time. They fed in five minutes and I had not hassle. My very best buddy had three of her kids at the same time as me. She fed for hours. She kept it up for months but it was so very tough for her. There is no way you could compare the two experiences. Then it came to her last. She spent the whole pregnancy telling me the baby would not even “get a sniff of a tit”, and she didn’t! So who cares? Both our last babies are grand with no intellectual or emotional problems… well none we can blame on breast/bottle.
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I feel you on the pushy, arrogant, breastfeeding bullies. Breastfeeding is yet another reason for some women to stick their noses in the air and act like the epitomy of motherhood because they can stick a tit in a kids mouth a couple times a day.
I’m a breastfeeding momma but only because it worked for me. The kids latched on and it has been magical ever since. I sleep better at night knowing that I have just about single handedly reserved them a spot at Harvard.
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Yeah, I guess I should feel bad that i have condemned mine to community college or some other horror, lol. All because my boobs are broken.
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